Tuesday, June 20, 2017

What's With LGBT-Exclusionary Sex Ed?

What’s With LGBT- EXCLUSIONARY Sex Ed?


Why doesn’t sex ed in schools apply to LGBT students.  Did you know that
in most states except California, Colorado, Iowa, Washington, and Washington, D.C., LGBT students waste their time in either abstinence-only or sex ed that only pertains to heterosexuals.  LGBT kids sit in classrooms where their teachers and textbooks fail to be inclusive because their LGBTQ identities, behaviors, and experiences are not taken into consideration.

The GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network) 2013 National School Climate Survey found that fewer than five percent of LGBT students had health classes that included positive representations of LGBT related topics.  Of millenials surveyed in 2015, only twelve percent said their sex education classes covered same-sex relationships.

Because of this dearth of reliable information in school, LGBT youth turn to the internet or older peers that can both relay misinformation.  Too embarrassed to talk to their parents, they are getting medically inaccurate material that can be misconstrued, built around myths that serve little purpose.

At the very least, LGBT-inclusive sex education should include positive examples of LGBTQ individuals, their relationships and families. It should also stress the need for sexual protection for everyone ( however, this shouldn’t excuse parents from talking to their children about these matters as well!).

Most Parents Want Sex Ed

The majority of parents polled (96%) want LGBT-inclusive sex education in high schools and ninety-four want it in middle school. Furthermore, The American Medical Association, The American Public Health Association, The Society for Adolescent Medicine, all endorse inclusive sex education.

In a study of more than 1,200 middle-and-high-school students across California, students who had inclusive sex education with positive images of LGBTQ identities, reported less sexual risk among teens and more support positive sexual health outcomes among teens that include: delaying the age of first sexual intercourse, reducing the overall number of sexual partners, unprotected sex, unintended teen pregnancy, and HIV rates and other STIS.

In schools whose sex ed classes are inclusive, LGBT students were bullied less. These inclusive students also felt that they belonged and consequently felt safe at school.



What Can Parents Do?


Gather your friends and demand inclusive sex education. This summer is a good time to start.  Get it on the school calendar for fall. Speak to school health advisory committees such as SHACS for curriculum choices, school boards, and school administrators.  You can order kits from Advocates for Youth and GLSEN LGBTQ-inclusive Curriculum Guide for Educators and lesson plans on bullying, bias, and diversity to start.

Write, speak to federal, state, and local policy makers who can remove gaps in sex education classes.  They can also support funding for effective sex education and resources for teacher training program evaluation and research.








Thursday, June 1, 2017

When Your Child Comes Out, The Family Dynamic Changes




When your teen comes out, let your child take the lead.  Don’t try to talk him out of being gay, calling it a “phase” and don’t attempt to change his sexual orientation by referring him to conversion  (gay-to-straight ) facilities.  Who knows better?
So, what should you do?  For once, let your child educate you about what it’s like to be gay, bi, lesbian, transgender.  Find out how he feels about being non cis-gender and how he envisions his future. 
This is not to say that you should “throw your hands up in the air.”  You don’t want to shirk your parental responsibilities.  Your child needs you more than ever now.  Show love and support. 
You can model responsibility by:
·      Making sure they not only know about safe sex (as you would your heterosexual child), but know where testing sites are for sexual diseases. Advocate for sexual education that includes information directed at the LGBT community.  (Most sex education courses in schools are not inclusive).
·      Take your child’s pulse frequently.  Is he happy at school?  Is he being bullied?  If so, know the proper channels to get satisfaction for the problem.
·      Make sure the physician/therapist your child sees is LGBT-friendly. Your child will feel comfortable bring up health disparities.
·      Show interest in your LGBT child’s love life as you would with your heterosexual child.
·      Don’t let the relatives in on your child’s sexual orientation unless he needs help to come out to them.  It’s his story,
·      Don’t expose your child to negative comments about homosexuals from uneducated relatives.
Even though this experience is new for you, don’t shut own.  You have a responsibility to continue in your role as a parent.  Employ the 3 L’s: listen, learn, and love.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

What Is IDAHOT?



IDAHOT sounds like a new potato to rival the french fries at McDonald’s.  But it’s much more widespread and important.  May 17th is IDAHOT day.  So, what is it?  It’s International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia.
This Day, celebrated since 2004, is the largest LGBTI Solidarity event to occur globally to bring attention to the violence of LGBT individuals. It has 1,000 events taking place in 120 countries worldwide. Think of it as a global celebration of Sexual and Gender Diversities. IDAHOT is recognized by international institutions, governments, and marked by UNESCO. 
Why We Need This Day:
·      Same-sex relationships are still illegal in 72 countries (37 of them are UN member states). In places like Chechnya, you can be killed if you’re LGBT or beheaded in Muslim countries.
·      LGBT employees are still not out in the workplace.
·      LGBT students do not feel safe at school and miss at least one day of school per month.
·      Forty per cent of homeless population consist of LGBT children evicted from their homes.
·      Transsexuals have the highest suicide and assault rates of the LGBT population.
·      In some states, therapists are allowed to practice conversion therapy that tries to make the patient straight and is not only ineffective, but produces dire side effects in the LGBT person.
What To Expect On May 17:
·      In San Francisco, at Harvey Milk Plaza, LGBT activists will continue to pressure Russia to act against Chechnya.  With the pink triangle in the background (sign of The Holocaust), co-created by Patrick Carney, he will speak about the significance of remembering LGBT Holocaust victims.
·      Chelsea Manning, the Army transgender intelligence analyst convicted of a Wikileaks leak, will be released from prison after serving the bulk of her thirty-five prison sentence, and being commuted by Obama before he left office.
·      In other areas of the world, Lithuania kicks off the celebration.  In Chile, the local governments joined the Rainbow Campaign initiated by the national LGBT group, Movhil. Kosovo is holding a march to ask for the right to register same-sex partnerships.

For Allies: Teachers, Companies, Social Media

·      Teachers can use this day to organize an activity in class to inspire change.  Unesco, among others, has developed a specific IDAHO lesson plan for both primary and secondary levels.
·      Companies can organize events, issue communications, launch reports and train internally for diversity acceptance.
·      For more inclusive plans to download, go to https:// www.dayagainsthomophobia.org
·      Use hashtag #May17Because.


Thursday, May 11, 2017

MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH MONTH

Homophobia, the stigma of being LGBT, and discrimination can all affect the mental health of your child.  How do you know if your child is well-adjusted to his sexual orientation?  Keep the dialogues open and look for clues in these three areas: school, friends, and physical health.

SCHOOL
  •  Does your child avoid school?  Over 30% of LGBT youth missed school in the past month due to feeling unsafe, according to GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network)'s School Climate Survey, 2015.
  • Don't assume that teachers are going to intervene when it's reported that 56% of LGBT students have heard homophobic remarks.  In fact, 64% of LGBT students have heard derogatory comments from the school staff.
  • If your child is trans, he/she/they may be of the 33% of  LGBT students who avoid bathrooms or 48% who avoid locker rooms.
Friends

  • Does your child have friends of both sexes or has he (she/they) been dropped from his original circle of friends due to his sexual orientation?   Is he singled out and verbally harassed?  If he's gay, does he only have female friends who protect him from bullies?
  • Have you gotten to know his friends?  Had them to dinner as you would his cis-gender (straight) siblings?  Do you inquire about his love interests?
HEALTH
  •  Does your child seem happy most of the time or depressed?  Is he relieved now that he came out or more morose?  Do you know that LGB youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexuals?  
  • Compared to LGBT youth, trans kids have a higher suicide rate, nine times the national average.  Forty percent made a suicide attempt, forty-six percent are verbally harassed and nine percent are physically assaulted, particularly trans people of color, according to the Williams Institute's "Just the Facts: LGBT Data Overview," 2015.
  •  If you take your child to a therapist for depression, make sure the therapist is LGBT-friendly. Not all "experts" are trained in this field.  Even though homosexuality has been declassified as a disorder, in some U.S. states, it is still legal to practice conversion therapy that tries to make the gay child straight with disastrous lingering side-effects.
  • Be sure your child's health care provider treats the patient, your child, with respect, that he doesn't blame your child's illnesses on his sexual orientation.   







Monday, April 24, 2017

What Your LGBT Child Wants To Hear From You



You don’t want to be blindsided when your child comes out to you.  Nor do you want to yell at your child (“you can’t be!”) or doubt his revelation ( “it’s just a phase!”).  The Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State reports that most coming outs do not go well because parents are not prepared for the news that jars with the expectations they have had for their child since birth or even before in our binary world. 
The most common defense mechanism for parents is denial.  What could be worse for a child to hear that the parent knows best about the sexual orientation that he/she has felt? Who would know better than the child?
Even if you are caught off-guard, your child has mustered up his courage to share this important part of his self, knowing that he probably is disappointing you, so try to be understanding even if it will take you awhile to “wrap your head around” this new identity.
What should you say? Here are 5 possibilities that connote unconditional love:
·      We love you and support you. ( A hug is always appreciated.)
·      We are pleased that you felt comfortable enough with us to share this important aspect of your self.  Thank you for trusting us.
·      Who else knows?  Classmates? Best friends? How have they reacted?
·      How do you envision your future? How has being gay affected your life?
·      Who haven’t you told yet, and what is your plan?  Remember that it is your child’s story and he/she has a right to privacy.
It’s o.k. to say to your child that it may take awhile for you to adjust fully, but that        you will, with his help and others as well.





Tuesday, April 11, 2017

The Gender Spectrum Defined


                                

                                      Dictionary 101 for Straight Parents
 Once Upon a Time, we lived in a binary world with Dick, Jane, and Spot.  Girl wore dresses, boys wore pants. Girls were given pink lunch trays in the grade school cafeteria. The boys received blue trays.  The boys went to “shop” and the girls went to “home ec.” There was no blurring of the binary rules.  If a girl wanted to take shop, too bad.  If a guy wanted to try his culinary skills in “home economics, he couldn’t.  If a girl wanted to be on the boys’ baseball team or even if she identified as a boy, she might be regarded as a “tomboy.”  Nobody knew about transgender kids then, their correct pronouns or their desire to use the bathroom they identified with. 
It’s a whole new world now.  For the older straight parent, the terms can be baffling (even Katie Couric had to learn them during the National Geographic Special “The Gender Revolution.” (February 3, 2017). Let’s start with the basics:
·      Asexuality means a person who generally does not feel sexual attraction or desire to any group of people.
·      Bisexual: a person who is attracted to both people of their own gender and another gender. Also called “bi.”
·      Cisgender: Types of gender identity where an individual’s experience of their own gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.  e..g. straight.
·      Gender is not the same definition as sex.  Sex refers to biological differences that include a person’s chromosomes and physical body. Gender refers to the behavioral, cultural, and psychological traits typically associated with one sex.
·      Gender expression: how we manifest masculinity or femininity.  Our behavior, speech, behavior, movement, and other factors as masculine or feminine.
·      Gender free/agender.  These people may not feel tied to any form of gender identity and often prefer the pronoun “they.”
·      Gender identity. The sense of “being” male, female, genderqueer, agender, Sometimes it lines up with physical anatomy or expected social roles.  Gender identity, biological sex, and sexual orientation are separate. People’s gender identity can shift over time. This means they are genderfluid.  Bigender people may shift between feminine and masculine gender identities and presentations or feel like they are two distinct genders at the same time.
·      Genderqueer: Identities which fall outside of the accepted sexual binary. May also refer to people who identify as both transgendered and queer, i.e. individuals who challenge both gender and sexuality regimes and see gender identity and sexual orientation as overlapping and interconnected.
·      Intersex.  Some people are born with both sexual organs and XXY. Non-binary:  people who don’t identify as either men or women.  It’s possible to be non-binary and identify outside of the male/female divisions, but still identify with a clear gender identity
·      Pansexual: not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.
·      Queer: an umbrella term sometimes used by LGBTQA people to refer to the entire LGBT community. Can be regarded as offensive to some, depending on their generation, geographic location and association with the word.
·      Transgender: umbrella term for all people who do not identify with their assigned gender at birth or the binary gender system.
·      Transsexual: a person whose gender identity is different from their biological sex.



           

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Prepare for GLSEN's Day of Silence, April 21



As a parent, you want to ensure your child is safe at school.  This is also the goal of GLSEN, Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network, the leading national educational organization focusing on safety for all students.  There is a need to raise awareness and fight homophobia in schools because:
·      In a Harris Interactive Study on Bullying, studies said two out of three reasons students are harassed are actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression.
·      According to 2005 report “From Teasing to Torment, School Climate in America,” additionally nearly nine out of ten LGBT students experience harassment.
So, What Is This Day Of Silence About?
GLSEN’s Day of Silence illustrates the silencing effect of bullying and harassment on the LGBTQ students and their allies.  It’s an annual event to raise awareness and protest the silence faced by LGBT people daily. People of all sexual orientations and gender identities who support LGBT rights on April 21st (this year) will take a vow of silence to recognize and protest the silence. Each year, nearly 8,000 middle and high school students register with GLSEN to partake of Day of Silence.  This year, the first 3,000 registered online will receive free swag. all free downloadable posters, organizing resources, and 25% discount off all Day of Silence items like mugs and Tee shirts.
                                    How Can I Get My School To Rally?
First, ask the principal for a meeting and find out if the staff and faculty are interested in joining this project. If your principal is opposed, you have a right to get Lambda Legal involved.
Have your GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) Club or other all-inclusive groups map out the details for the event.  Divide your tasks into Before, During and After as gsanetwork.org/resources/gsa-action/events/day-silence suggests.
BEFORE:
·      Have your GSA prepare a “To Do” List:  Who is in charge of each item?
·      Put up flyers and posters.  Send out e-mail announcement, advertise in school newspaper.
·      How will the school handle a Day of Silence?  Find out if you are to be silent all day or just when you’re not in class.  Should you be silent in the cafeteria and during breaks? Are you to be silent on social media?
·      How will you handle people who are opposed to silence? You have a right to do this.
·      You may want to pass out cards that participants state why they are not speaking.

During:

·      Have a staffed table with resources.
·      Leaders should be visible with same clothing, for example, to group you.
·      Post an announcement explaining the event to be respectful.
·      Do you a designated space for your break on silence?
·      Ask your teachers if they want to do a silent lesson plan.  They can obtain a video “As If It Matters” by calling 415-552-4229 or e-mail info@gsanetwork.org.

After:

·      Write up an evaluation of the event. Remember that next April there will be another Day of Silence.
·      Hold a Breaking the Silence Or Speak Out Activity.  For example, have LGBT population tell their stories of harassment and discrimination after reflecting on the day.
·      Continue the support by educating the community.

For more tips, see glsen.org

 

Prepare