Sunday, June 17, 2018

If Straight Parents Don't March, Are We Tolerating, But Not Accepting?

June is considered GAY PRIDE MONTH, but not everywhere.  However, you demonstrate acceptance, it should be at your own comfort level.

Many LGBT people themselves do not feel it is necessary to be a crusader for gay rights just as some straight parents don't want to march during the Gay Parades held in major cities.  I am one of those parents.

This does not mean that I'm not sensitive to those minorities who haven't achieved full equality. It does mean that I hate crowds and regard rainbow scanty thongs on gay men on floats as hyper sexualization, narcissitic displays of six-pack abs and perhaps doing a disservice to the greater goals of inclusion and equal rights.

You can be accepting without subjecting yourself to all the revelry.  (However, if your child wants you to attend a Gay Pride event, feel like he is an integral part of the whole movement whose civil rights have been backlashed by politics, then you may want to support your LGBT child by attending).

As a parent, it behooves you to demonstrate to your child in both words and actions that you will always love and support him unconditionally.  One way to show your acceptance is to:


  • Ask your LGBT child the same questions you ask your other children.  Specifically, don't avoid the topic of dating and relationships.  If you ask your heterosexual child about his significant other, ask your LGBT child as well.  
  • Says Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D., " If your gay child says that he is dating someone in particular, ask engaging questions about the partner and express an interest in meeting him."  
  • Invite the boyfriend to family dinners as you would for a partner of your straight child.
  • Find out how the boyfriend is doing from time to time.
For more tips on displaying acceptance, see When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterling: 2016).